It's Christmas time and who couldn't resist doing something a little different? So, here is my version on the traditional Twelve Days of Christmas that I think every writer will identify with.

The Twelve Days of Christmas - An Author's Lament

On the first day of Christmas
my laptop showed to me:

1 sale over Christmas

2 returned ebooks 

3 creepy fans

4 price drops on Amazon

5 new marketing strategies

6 book-bloggers ignoring me

7 Linkedin warnings!

8 tweeps unfollowing

9 Facebook friends blocking

10 censored emails

11 publishing rejections

12 online giveaways - to Khazakstan!

and a Goodreads troll who's following me!