Thursday, 31 October 2013

The Funny Side To A Laptop Crash - Read This And Find Out!

For anyone who has experienced the dubious pleasure having their laptop or PC crash, you'll know it's no laughing matter, especially if it results in hours, maybe even days of work being lost. But, I recently discovered this delicious little gem of a poem, called, Hello, by the clever and talented British poet and short-story writer Symon Silvester, on Jade Reyner's blog - Jade's Jungle.
I've been given permission to reproduce in full.

Read and have a chuckle.


Hello?

Hello? Is that the help desk?
Can you help me please?
It’s my damned computer
It’s giving me grief!

~

Have I got Windows?
Well, this is a room with a view.
Oh I see what you mean.
So that’s the Start menu!

~

Well I clicked and double clicked
I even clicked thrice.
All I got was a message
Saying something not nice

~

I don’t know what happened
I was just checking my email.
I opened a file
And it all went to hell

~

You mean I’ve been infected?
I’ve got a worm?
Can you get it out?
I have a CD to burn

~

I am so sorry
I don’t mean to sound thick
But how do computers get a virus?
How can they get sick?

~

What should I do?
I tried turning it off.
What the hell do you mean
Everything is going to be lost!

~

Can’t you do anything?
Repair or reboot?
I have a deadline to meet
It’s me they will shoot.

~

No I can’t wait
I can’t queue.
I need help right now
That’s why we employ you!

~

Get up here now!
I’m on the fifth floor
Turn right at the coffee machine
And knock on my door

~

Shall we say ten minutes?
What do you mean in an hour?
I said right now
I have a fatal error!

~

I don’t care about the network
That’s your concern
I have lost my work
And have a cd to burn

~

You know for a help desk!
You aren’t much bloody use
What do you mean
You aren’t going to take that abuse?

~

Hello?
Hello?

-

© Symon Silvester 2013






No comments: