So, a dear friend came to the rescue and happily volunteered to be a guest blogger (I'll send her the lifetime supply of chocolate, later). Her humorous - and very original - observations of life have often made me laugh, and now I'm happy to share her with the rest of the world.
Here's Claudia - lawyer, blogger and budding writer.
Man Crushes: An untold story
Hello all. My name is Claudia and I dream to be a plus size supermodel one day. That way I can eat as much as I want as my job demands it! That is my mini bio for you all.
First and foremost, thank you to Tima for letting me be a guest writer on her blog. Now please buy her book when it comes out! (Tima, can I get my life time supply of chocolate as we discussed now?).
Alright kidding aside, I am doing this out post as a favour and no chocolate has or will pass hands. I am just happy for this opportunity and have my material read outside the realm of Facebook.
I want to talk about man crushes. Is it just my husband that openly speaks of his man crush? What exactly is a man crush? And, when does a man crush become a bromance or are they the same thing?
This line of thought came to my attention over the weekend when my husband and I went to see Les Misérables. As we were leaving the theatre, my husband looks at me and says with a very serious tone and a meditative face, "Hugh Jackman is such a dreamboat! Honey, if Hugh Jackman asked me marry him, I would leave you for him"
Seeing the solemnity in his face, I had to try hard to stifle a laugh. I understand where he is coming from. I wouldn’t mind being Hugh Jackman’s man purse. He is a stud-muffin and then some! Then, after I thought about it for a while my mood changed and I thought to myself, ‘I am already competing with millions of other women for the affections of Hugh Jackman and now my husband?! Are male celebrities no longer objects of lust just for us women?!’
Being concerned about my husband’s confession, I went home and researched this man-crush phenomenon. I noticed that men are becoming more open about having a ‘man-crush’ on other men. For example, I put up what my husband said on Facebook as a status (all in the name of research, I swear!). A male acquaintance of mine commented of the status, “Like me with Johnny Depp, at least he is comfortably man enough to say it!” This was a worrying thought and commanded me to further my research outside the jurisdiction of Facebook.
As I continued my research through authorities such as online Marie Claire articles and chat rooms dedicated to the matter, I noticed something very interesting about man-crushing. I noticed that for the majority of men it isn’t because they romantically want the man they crush on. It is usually because they want to BE that man. It may be because the object of the man-crush may have great football skills like David Beckham or excellent acting the likes of Denzel Washington. This was confirmed when I read Urban Dictionary’s definition of man crush:
“When a straight man has a "crush" on another man, not sexual but kind of idolizing him. Many straight men end up having man crushes on Johnny Depp (I don't blame them)”
So, I questioned my husband about his man crush. I asked why he wanted to run away and marry Hugh Jackman and he responded, “He’s Wolverine! He has claws and kills people. I want to be Wolverine. Plus, I already have the beard!”
Okay, so it was a case of my husband not being able to describe a man crush properly. He didn’t want to really marry Hugh Jackman. Rather, he wanted to be Wolverine! At least that meant I could sleep easier knowing that my husband was not ready to leave me just yet, and more importantly, not vying with me for Hugh Jackman’s affections should he leave his wife!
Then as I was about heave a sigh of ease, my husband said something very interesting and alarming at the same time, “I only want to be Wolverine. Relax, it’s not a bromance or anything”
Apparently, women should heed the warnings of a bromance more than a man crush. A Bromance is when the object of the man crush reciprocates the man crush and the target of is your husband/ boyfriend/ partner/ handbag! In that case it’s a bromance and you’re dead out of luck in the quality time department as according to Wikipedia, bromances:
“… are often primarily based on shared activities. This can include playing video games, playing musical instruments, shopping, smoking pipes, chatting by the fire, watching movies, fishing, camping, and other sporting activities, gambling, social drinking, and engaging in the use of psychedelic substances. Emotional sharing (which is common in women's friendships) is another such activity.”
So, my fellow women, we must keep a vigilant eye out for signs that a man crush is transforming from a one sided affair to a two sided situation. Let men have their one sided man crushes for they are nothing harmless. It is more akin to a young boy having a sport player they look up to and idolise. So long as the man crush is unattainable, then Ladies, you’ll be assured of the affections of your man. Just don’t let the man crush turn into a bromance. You have been warned!
Thank you for reading.
And thanks Claudia Taylor.
If you enjoyed this feature, please let me know. Maybe I'll feature guest bloggers more often.